you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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