He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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