So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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