at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
