i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
