she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
