he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
