I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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