none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
