The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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