are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
