Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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