You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
