Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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