i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
