Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
