I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The air was thick with penises
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
