There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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