THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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