So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
