if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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