I hate your face
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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