u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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