I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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