I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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