At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
