I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize