So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
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