I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
