He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
