I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
50% drunk capacity currently
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
