So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize