The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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