I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
