I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
