I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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