So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
