I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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