But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
