Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
