k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
