I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate all girls vehemently.
Duck Duck Cougar?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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