I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
