I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
