Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.

  (1-831): View more from California

  Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines. (1-831): Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/f2l0
  Replies (15) Good night (3518) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny http://tfl.nu/4cwi
  Replies (12) Good night (3108) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  p.s. you have a small clit

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): p.s. you have a small clit (1-417): YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE. http://tfl.nu/402d
  Replies (45) Good night (1401) Bad night (4599)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  why is this not a picture message?!?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score! (1-434): why is this not a picture message?!?! http://tfl.nu/992e
  Replies (42) Good night (7739) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record? http://tfl.nu/dn2a
  Replies (37) Good night (1041) Bad night (4466)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl
  Replies (23) Good night (7643) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Someone shattered a urinal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Someone shattered a urinal. http://tfl.nu/a493
  Replies (8) Good night (1801) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about. (202): Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ. http://tfl.nu/wtju
  Replies (7) Good night (3217) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house. http://tfl.nu/6cay
  Replies (6) Good night (794) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me. http://tfl.nu/zjm5
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  did you know gatorade and rum go really good together

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  Are you doing depressed science again

  (210): View more from Texas

  maybe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): did you know gatorade and rum go really good together (1-210): Are you doing depressed science again (210): maybe http://tfl.nu/zjts
  Replies (4) Good night (1007) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively. http://tfl.nu/qap5
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month http://tfl.nu/4t8s
  Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on http://tfl.nu/taed
  Replies (1) Good night (835) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed http://tfl.nu/o0su
  Replies (0) Good night (321) Bad night (494)

Randomize