I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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