Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"

  (650): View more from California

  LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me

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  (415): my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous" (650): LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me http://tfl.nu/uk4o
  Replies (3) Good night (2106) Bad night (642)
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  (818): View more from California

  Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.

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  (818): Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes. http://tfl.nu/a910
  Replies (9) Good night (793) Bad night (938)
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  (310): View more from California

  Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.

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  (310): Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive. http://tfl.nu/43yi
  Replies (38) Good night (3130) Bad night (677)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.

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  (516): He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home. http://tfl.nu/ewc8
  Replies (38) Good night (763) Bad night (6530)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.

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  (580): Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged. http://tfl.nu/xha8
  Replies (57) Good night (2380) Bad night (4546)
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  (716): View more from New York

  If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.

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  (716): If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex. http://tfl.nu/vi35
  Replies (13) Good night (4329) Bad night (1151)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.

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  (937): She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain. http://tfl.nu/rayu
  Replies (10) Good night (2592) Bad night (1190)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.

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  (484): The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread. http://tfl.nu/tsab
  Replies (1) Good night (2664) Bad night (730)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis

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  (214): Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis http://tfl.nu/ji20
  Replies (4) Good night (1555) Bad night (911)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...

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  (847): I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest... http://tfl.nu/j6s5
  Replies (6) Good night (2553) Bad night (773)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight

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  (785): My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight http://tfl.nu/4v11
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.

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  (856): I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree. http://tfl.nu/ftwn
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Did you at least offer to let him get it out??

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  (901): I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment. (662): Did you at least offer to let him get it out?? http://tfl.nu/gv0l
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (435)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.

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  (717): I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower. http://tfl.nu/u1b6
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (257)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...

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  (509): In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched... http://tfl.nu/ted8
  Replies (2) Good night (303) Bad night (214)

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