Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby... http://tfl.nu/v25y
  Replies (12) Good night (792) Bad night (2816)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said. http://tfl.nu/hb96
  Replies (58) Good night (7012) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style (1-541): Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario http://tfl.nu/q9jy
  Replies (44) Good night (2011) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?

  (281): View more from Texas

  Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring? (281): Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later" http://tfl.nu/iga6
  Replies (24) Good night (1444) Bad night (4363)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already" http://tfl.nu/32w5
  Replies (18) Good night (786) Bad night (4929)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours http://tfl.nu/cvkh
  Replies (23) Good night (6886) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I seriously fake cumming more than i poop. http://tfl.nu/kwns
  Replies (33) Good night (763) Bad night (5611)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  where are you?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  sonic

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): where are you? (1-404): sonic (404): Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/pjgu
  Replies (25) Good night (5235) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time. http://tfl.nu/fdjv
  Replies (7) Good night (1377) Bad night (3317)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again http://tfl.nu/myb5
  Replies (3) Good night (1621) Bad night (2674)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party. http://tfl.nu/ny5q
  Replies (5) Good night (1673) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I had to rip your toilet paper for you...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I had to rip your toilet paper for you... http://tfl.nu/xdup
  Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever. http://tfl.nu/fmlb
  Replies (3) Good night (1344) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica. http://tfl.nu/w5ic
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss. http://tfl.nu/ecsl
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (287)

Randomize