Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course

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  (302): I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course http://tfl.nu/mcvz
  Replies (62) Good night (1977) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.

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  (413): she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman. http://tfl.nu/lb9r
  Replies (19) Good night (1036) Bad night (4387)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.

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  (203): Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more. http://tfl.nu/bcah
  Replies (31) Good night (5376) Bad night (1045) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know

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  (360): i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know http://tfl.nu/empv
  Replies (10) Good night (3589) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.

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  (419): had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me. http://tfl.nu/ffp2
  Replies (4) Good night (879) Bad night (2268) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.

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  (609): it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating. http://tfl.nu/22js
  Replies (4) Good night (1449) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.

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  (401): You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous. http://tfl.nu/cb7r
  Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.

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  (605): Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability. (1-605): Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/l83k
  Replies (10) Good night (618) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.

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  (352): Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind. http://tfl.nu/tjuj
  Replies (4) Good night (1622) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.

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  (716): The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us. http://tfl.nu/j1ej
  Replies (11) Good night (2477) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work

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  (613): He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work http://tfl.nu/ow4z
  Replies (9) Good night (380) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father

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  (302): I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father http://tfl.nu/aa2i
  Replies (8) Good night (825) Bad night (228) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song

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  (417): For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song http://tfl.nu/a91l
  Replies (4) Good night (1247) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ you're perfect.

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  (307): Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday. (303): Jesus Christ you're perfect. http://tfl.nu/7qs9
  Replies (4) Good night (813) Bad night (253)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed

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  (716): I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed http://tfl.nu/55n0
  Replies (5) Good night (643) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt

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