I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.