you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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