I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
