She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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