pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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