So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
