I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
