Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
