someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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