I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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