They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
