1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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