Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
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Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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