K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The air was thick with penises
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My vagina is officially offended.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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