im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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