I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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