Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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