Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
