I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
