Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
