I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
