Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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